I think it will become my new secular ritual (nowy swiecki obyczaj ;) to write posts by two. But somehow it feels so good to share, especially having such a significant reaction to what I write from some people. I appreciate all these comments a lot, also these that I'm receiving through email or Facebook ;P The thing that made me the happiest was when one of you wrote to me: "/when reading your posts/ day after day I find myself reading things eagerly as if I was discovering things for the first time!!!" and then relating to Eid:
"With our daily life routine, some of these traditions start to fade, like the atmosphere of eating together; because with the rush of work and school we don't have enough time to eat together, we meet each others at night or on sundays, and usually my lunch is a sandwich that I swallow quickly in school!!!"
I'm so glad to show you Morocco through my eyes, to remind you about your traditions and heritage, and even more glad if it makes a difference to anyone! I don't know how some of my observations are accurate, and always when I write, I'm asking myself a question if I interpreted things well, if I actually know what I'm talking about. And sometimes I'm a little bit affraid, because I don't want to say something that would hurt someone, or misinterpret, misunderstand something. This is also why your comments help a lot. And in the end my goal is to understand Moroccan culture as much as possible, and I have no better way to do it, then directly from people.
Today a very similar thing to the situation described above happened to me. I read a post on a blog of my friend Mary, Venezuelan girl who lives currently in Poland. She described there her experience from polish Christam Eve. And while reading it I felt such a strong emotion, because suddenly I looked on our traditions with a fresh look, saw their hidden value, not only the outside. And at this moment I understood what my dear Moroccan friends were talking about, by saying that they feel like discovering the old things for the first time by reading my posts. I felt exactly the same.
For those interested in the article about polish Christmas Eve through the eyes of a foreigner I recommend this link.
And one more thing, I wanted to share, if I'm already talking about your comments guys. It really moved me what a Moroccan girl wrote to me, after my paragraph about veiled girls. I would like to share it with you, because this is a testimonial straight from the heart, and I think it may make some people more aware of the things that they have never experienced or felt before, as it influenced me:
"...If for you it was "an Egyptian prostitute", some men out in the street, sometimes, call me a terrorist (just to insult me) because I'm wearing a scarf! and while I walk in the street some people tell to each other "be aware she might explode at any moment"! (Do I look like a terrorist for God sake?!!!) which is something that really hurts me because they don't know me to talk about me the way they do...
We can be so cruel to ech other even we are all human beings. We forget everything about our nature, we hurt, although we know that the same situation but reversed would hurt us as well. We expect so much from others while not expecting anything from ourselves. We judge with no idea about the person, we build our stereotypes so stupidly, not even seeking to understand what's hidden behind another person's eyes.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Friend of my friend...
Today I had a great pleasure to discover another amazing thing about Moroccan culture. I spent a wonderful evening with Souhail's family, and then with his friends. I enjoyed every minute, even though most of the time people were speaking in Moroccan Arabic, or French, so I didn't understand majority of what they were saying. However that was definitely one of the warmest and most friendly evenings in my life. In terms of atmosphere, relax and also sense of humor, there's no one better than Moroccans in the world. They have the first place in my ranking and in my opinion should receive Nobel's Peace Prize :)
/off-thought: maybe this is why they say "Salaam" as a greeting which means literally "Peace"/
So I enjoyed myself so much, that I finally got the stronger emotional connection to the mood everybody was in. For the first time I felt like a part of a situation, not only as an observer. I couldn't understand what they are saying, but I could feel the mood, and relate it to what I felt before in my life, so to finally "anchor" it somehow to my perception and emotions. I suddenly remembered how I was laughing with my best friends and how it felt, and I saw these people being in the same state of mind, and joking on the same level. It was a huge "emotional enligtment" for me...
So when coming back home with Souhail, I told him: "I wish you could experience the same that you are giving me an opportunity to live here, because I'd like you to understand how big difference it makes for me". But he replied: "I think it would not be possible". And then he explained me a lot about cultural differencies between Poland and Morocco, and it all clicked in my head together with what I've already went through here.
First, the family. Here I'm a part of Souhail's family - this is how I'm considered by its members. And it's not only "nicely said", or exaggareted to please me. It's a fact and a feeling. Staying more than 3 days at someone's flat in unusual. 3 weeks is a time given to extended family guests. But more - it's something very special. So if I'm staying that long, I'm a family. In Poland it would probably never be possible. No matter how long he'd stay, he would never be considered this way, and be that strongly connected and welcomed. He'd stay "a guest". And most probably for some frinds too, so they would not behave so spontaneously as people behave here with me.
Second, friends. Here being brought by Souhail to his circle of friends and introduced as his friend, I'm their friend. And that's it. It doesn't matter what do they think about me, what do I say, and how do they feel about me. No judgement before somebody is let in the group, if he is another friend's friend. Actually it's true, and it happened so many times in my environment in Poland that someone brought a friend and other people in the group judged him, and didn't make friends with him, because how this person appeared to be. I was telling Souhail, that if my friends meet him, they would like him a lot (bzeeef :), but actually when he told me this, I realized that the process in my head had gone like this: "I like Souhail, cuz he's nice and cool, so if I bring him to my friends they will also realize how cool he is and accept him, and even behave naturally with him". And of course the difference is in this little part "when they realize how cool is he" - because here people don't need that to accept me. Souhail brings me and that's it. Everyone is nice to me from the start. A group is not "closed".
And the last thing that we talked about is the connection between people. Souhaile tried to explain me, that Moroccans have a very strong connection with each other, no matter how far they are in any sense. It means that a Moroccan would always understand a Moroccan, even without naming things directly. They have certain ways of talking about things that only Moroccans can understand and get the point. And they strongly relate to each other in terms of feelings. I wanted to describe this thing as well, because I realized, that actually this concept is so close to something that we call or understand as some sort of an empathy. And we are striving to reach this connection with other people, but in most of cases we don't succeed. I managed to have this kind of connection with few people in my life, for example with one of my oldest friends, Johny, but it took a long time and was never perfect. And it's rather rare in Poland, because even when I meet with some people that I consider as my friends, there's still usually maybe a tiny tension or nervousness in our relation, when we sit together and joke, or talk about nothing. People keep more distance even they are friends, and it doesn't happen at all in Morocco. I was reading about the concept of "long and short distance cultures" so many times in books for social psychology, but I actually never understood how it can feel, and how little I knew about interpersonal relations in general.
/off-thought: maybe this is why they say "Salaam" as a greeting which means literally "Peace"/
So I enjoyed myself so much, that I finally got the stronger emotional connection to the mood everybody was in. For the first time I felt like a part of a situation, not only as an observer. I couldn't understand what they are saying, but I could feel the mood, and relate it to what I felt before in my life, so to finally "anchor" it somehow to my perception and emotions. I suddenly remembered how I was laughing with my best friends and how it felt, and I saw these people being in the same state of mind, and joking on the same level. It was a huge "emotional enligtment" for me...
So when coming back home with Souhail, I told him: "I wish you could experience the same that you are giving me an opportunity to live here, because I'd like you to understand how big difference it makes for me". But he replied: "I think it would not be possible". And then he explained me a lot about cultural differencies between Poland and Morocco, and it all clicked in my head together with what I've already went through here.
First, the family. Here I'm a part of Souhail's family - this is how I'm considered by its members. And it's not only "nicely said", or exaggareted to please me. It's a fact and a feeling. Staying more than 3 days at someone's flat in unusual. 3 weeks is a time given to extended family guests. But more - it's something very special. So if I'm staying that long, I'm a family. In Poland it would probably never be possible. No matter how long he'd stay, he would never be considered this way, and be that strongly connected and welcomed. He'd stay "a guest". And most probably for some frinds too, so they would not behave so spontaneously as people behave here with me.
Second, friends. Here being brought by Souhail to his circle of friends and introduced as his friend, I'm their friend. And that's it. It doesn't matter what do they think about me, what do I say, and how do they feel about me. No judgement before somebody is let in the group, if he is another friend's friend. Actually it's true, and it happened so many times in my environment in Poland that someone brought a friend and other people in the group judged him, and didn't make friends with him, because how this person appeared to be. I was telling Souhail, that if my friends meet him, they would like him a lot (bzeeef :), but actually when he told me this, I realized that the process in my head had gone like this: "I like Souhail, cuz he's nice and cool, so if I bring him to my friends they will also realize how cool he is and accept him, and even behave naturally with him". And of course the difference is in this little part "when they realize how cool is he" - because here people don't need that to accept me. Souhail brings me and that's it. Everyone is nice to me from the start. A group is not "closed".
And the last thing that we talked about is the connection between people. Souhaile tried to explain me, that Moroccans have a very strong connection with each other, no matter how far they are in any sense. It means that a Moroccan would always understand a Moroccan, even without naming things directly. They have certain ways of talking about things that only Moroccans can understand and get the point. And they strongly relate to each other in terms of feelings. I wanted to describe this thing as well, because I realized, that actually this concept is so close to something that we call or understand as some sort of an empathy. And we are striving to reach this connection with other people, but in most of cases we don't succeed. I managed to have this kind of connection with few people in my life, for example with one of my oldest friends, Johny, but it took a long time and was never perfect. And it's rather rare in Poland, because even when I meet with some people that I consider as my friends, there's still usually maybe a tiny tension or nervousness in our relation, when we sit together and joke, or talk about nothing. People keep more distance even they are friends, and it doesn't happen at all in Morocco. I was reading about the concept of "long and short distance cultures" so many times in books for social psychology, but I actually never understood how it can feel, and how little I knew about interpersonal relations in general.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Touching the core... of cultural differencies! :)
I have another story to tell, and it might please those of you who are passionate about cultural differencies, and understanding their nature. I will just briefly describe the situation, pictures I will publish as soon as the camera's battery gets charged may be helpful too.
While shopping with my Mexican friend Pepe in Medina, I found a beautiful skirt, in a style that was always my dreamed one, fully matching my personality. Somehow the colors, the texture and all the applications it has are so exotic and look soooooo cool in my opinion. I loved it from the first moment, and one of my friends who were with us got it for me after a successful bargaining (big mwaaaah for Ahmed ^_^) I tried it today and what I saw in the mirror was even better than what I expected. The look that it gave me pleased me a lot, and made me even happier.
I wanted to share it with my friend, but when he saw me, he just laughed and said "you look like an Egyptian prostitute". It made me think and ask him some more questions about it, because although it was said in a friendly way, he really thought so, and it was his true association with my outlook. I know, that if I go in Warsaw to my friend's party dressed this way, their reaction would be "cool", and although I will certainly grab some attention, the association with my dress would be rather positive, original, outstanding, maybe a bit crazy and artistic, definitely different, then for people here. He told me that if I go on the street dressed this way, most probably I will be taken as a prostitute. Because it attracts too much attention, the colors are too strong and bright, the texture of a lace is too transparent and reveals too much of what is underneath.
It all clicked in my head, and made me more aware of different associations to the same things between cultures. I've never seen an Egyptian prostitute, so I have absolutely no negative association with this kind of dress. For me it can be a traditional oriental dress, a costume of a belly dancer, a cool and outstanding skirt bought in an "oriental shop" in Poland, or anything else. But for people here connections are pretty straight, because of their previous experiences, and what they've seen, and also how they were brought up, with what concept of "sexy" or "cool". It can be so radically different and strong, that we will never understand its nature, because we will not pay attention to the source of our feelings.
I started thinking about a kind of association I would have if I see my Moroccan friends in Poland, dressed in the way they do here. And I'm not even talking about people who dress in a little bit more traditional way, like girls wearning veils for example. It doesn't bother me at all, maybe because I had no association with it before, I've never had any deeper contact with anyone like this previously. Here I meet some really cool, kind and friendly girls wearing scarfs for example, I make friends with them like with anyone else, and it makes no difference for my perception. In general, this is how I'm trying to behave, having no expectations just after seeing someone, not judging the outside of a person. But sometimes it's difficult, and actually for me it's hard especially when I'm thinking about someone in Poland, dressed in a way that is very familiar to me. I'm putting stress on "in Poland", because somehow going to live abroad I tried to "switch off" the judgement that is present in each one of us, and have as little as possible preassumptions about how the things should be, or should look like. So coming back to the topic of associations with how some of my friends dress here, when I'm trying to generate it, and erase in my head all the good things I already know about them, the thoughts that are coming are definitely not aligned with how they are. For example: "teenagers", "simple minded", "brainwashed with mass culture", "not concerned with world issues", and rather far from my lifestyle and values.
I hope that all the people reading it are open minded and that no one will get offended :) I definitely don't think these kind of things, I met enough people in my life not to judge the book by the cover. And in the end, I wouldn't hang out with all people here, if I didn't think that they are nice and interesting, and if we didn't have a great time toghether :) I took this situation as an examples of how a cultural difference can look like, and how sometimes people vary in their judgement of a situation, of others, of what they see or hear. And how much the context determines this judgement. I think the conclusion is to be even more open minded and unattached to preassumptions. And definitely living abroad helps a lot :)
By the way, a cool article about ancient egyptian sexuality here.
While shopping with my Mexican friend Pepe in Medina, I found a beautiful skirt, in a style that was always my dreamed one, fully matching my personality. Somehow the colors, the texture and all the applications it has are so exotic and look soooooo cool in my opinion. I loved it from the first moment, and one of my friends who were with us got it for me after a successful bargaining (big mwaaaah for Ahmed ^_^) I tried it today and what I saw in the mirror was even better than what I expected. The look that it gave me pleased me a lot, and made me even happier.
I wanted to share it with my friend, but when he saw me, he just laughed and said "you look like an Egyptian prostitute". It made me think and ask him some more questions about it, because although it was said in a friendly way, he really thought so, and it was his true association with my outlook. I know, that if I go in Warsaw to my friend's party dressed this way, their reaction would be "cool", and although I will certainly grab some attention, the association with my dress would be rather positive, original, outstanding, maybe a bit crazy and artistic, definitely different, then for people here. He told me that if I go on the street dressed this way, most probably I will be taken as a prostitute. Because it attracts too much attention, the colors are too strong and bright, the texture of a lace is too transparent and reveals too much of what is underneath.It all clicked in my head, and made me more aware of different associations to the same things between cultures. I've never seen an Egyptian prostitute, so I have absolutely no negative association with this kind of dress. For me it can be a traditional oriental dress, a costume of a belly dancer, a cool and outstanding skirt bought in an "oriental shop" in Poland, or anything else. But for people here connections are pretty straight, because of their previous experiences, and what they've seen, and also how they were brought up, with what concept of "sexy" or "cool". It can be so radically different and strong, that we will never understand its nature, because we will not pay attention to the source of our feelings.
I started thinking about a kind of association I would have if I see my Moroccan friends in Poland, dressed in the way they do here. And I'm not even talking about people who dress in a little bit more traditional way, like girls wearning veils for example. It doesn't bother me at all, maybe because I had no association with it before, I've never had any deeper contact with anyone like this previously. Here I meet some really cool, kind and friendly girls wearing scarfs for example, I make friends with them like with anyone else, and it makes no difference for my perception. In general, this is how I'm trying to behave, having no expectations just after seeing someone, not judging the outside of a person. But sometimes it's difficult, and actually for me it's hard especially when I'm thinking about someone in Poland, dressed in a way that is very familiar to me. I'm putting stress on "in Poland", because somehow going to live abroad I tried to "switch off" the judgement that is present in each one of us, and have as little as possible preassumptions about how the things should be, or should look like. So coming back to the topic of associations with how some of my friends dress here, when I'm trying to generate it, and erase in my head all the good things I already know about them, the thoughts that are coming are definitely not aligned with how they are. For example: "teenagers", "simple minded", "brainwashed with mass culture", "not concerned with world issues", and rather far from my lifestyle and values.
I hope that all the people reading it are open minded and that no one will get offended :) I definitely don't think these kind of things, I met enough people in my life not to judge the book by the cover. And in the end, I wouldn't hang out with all people here, if I didn't think that they are nice and interesting, and if we didn't have a great time toghether :) I took this situation as an examples of how a cultural difference can look like, and how sometimes people vary in their judgement of a situation, of others, of what they see or hear. And how much the context determines this judgement. I think the conclusion is to be even more open minded and unattached to preassumptions. And definitely living abroad helps a lot :)
By the way, a cool article about ancient egyptian sexuality here.
Eid Ad7a Mobarak Said!
Yesterday in Morocco people were celebrating one of the most important holidays for Muslims, Eid ul-Adha. It's also called the big holiday, and is celebrated in honor of the prophet Abraham when he intended to sacrifice his son Ismail as a proof of his loyalty to God. Eid ul-Adha is translated into English as "The Feast of Sacrifice", when Muslims all over the world present an animal (usually a cow or a sheep) sacrifice as a gratitude action for God saving the Prophet Ismail's life.
My host family sacrificed three sheep, I haven't seen slottering them in the morning, but it's happening in the house, with the presence of family members, even children. It's done by a butcher, who comes with his helps, and kills animals according to the ritual. I just saw this moment in local TV, when king's sheep had been slottered, and it's enough for my vegetarian heart ;) Then the guts and other organs of the animal are taken out, washed and prepared to be eaten. The rest of the body hangs on a hook for one day, to release all toxines before being prepared to consumption. And the head is being grilled and will be served today with cuscus.
All those who know me and my views on killing and eating animals are probably asking themselves a question, how am I coping with this... Well, the answer is simple - I'm adapting to the culture as much as possible, and although I'm not trying all those delicious dishes, I'm participating in everything that my host family does. When I heard about this fest for the first time, it wasn't easy for me to imagine taking part in it. But I had a lot of time to think it over, and I accepted the invitation, even though it's not aligned with my values.
And to be honest, yesterday I really enjoyed the time with family, even sitting with women in the kitchen, while they were cleaning the guts, and preparing the meat barbecues, mincing the meat, cooking brains, etc. The atmosphere was so warm, and everyone was respecting my choice, and not trying to "convert" me ;) We had nice time, and I liked a lot the feeling of being there, all together, around the table. It was so natural and relaxed environment, everybody just chatting, without a pressure to say something clever, or important. The conversations were pleasurable, not a source of frustration or disagreement, how it happens from time to time in Poland. And even people were not agreeing sometimes, they were discussing emotionally, with loud voices, in the end it was all good, and cool. The general attitude of these people is also pictured by the way they eat - all together from one bowl, making lot of mess on the table, passing some tasty chunks of the meat to each other. It feels so good, and easy going. No one has a "stick in his ass", how we say in polish. It's about enjoying the time together, without thinking how well mannered we should be, bright, intelligent, or successful.
I think it's really starting to influence me in a positive way, I'm becoming so much more relaxed and spontaneous, then how I used to be. I don't have any negative thoughts, not trying to restrict myself, or to "be right and accurate". I've learned a lot about my feelings, and I became connected to them much more. Souhail is still telling me sometimes that "I think too much", but my opinion is that I've changed a lot on this field, and now I'm thinking just enough to balance it with feelings, and other states of mind :P
So... Eid Ad7a Mobarak Said to all my Moroccan friends, and Wesolych Swiat to my dear friends in Poland, and other best wishes to all other people around the world who may be reading this text :)))
Guts of the sheep served for the dinner, first day.
Sheep's head on cuscus, second day lunch.
My host family sacrificed three sheep, I haven't seen slottering them in the morning, but it's happening in the house, with the presence of family members, even children. It's done by a butcher, who comes with his helps, and kills animals according to the ritual. I just saw this moment in local TV, when king's sheep had been slottered, and it's enough for my vegetarian heart ;) Then the guts and other organs of the animal are taken out, washed and prepared to be eaten. The rest of the body hangs on a hook for one day, to release all toxines before being prepared to consumption. And the head is being grilled and will be served today with cuscus.
All those who know me and my views on killing and eating animals are probably asking themselves a question, how am I coping with this... Well, the answer is simple - I'm adapting to the culture as much as possible, and although I'm not trying all those delicious dishes, I'm participating in everything that my host family does. When I heard about this fest for the first time, it wasn't easy for me to imagine taking part in it. But I had a lot of time to think it over, and I accepted the invitation, even though it's not aligned with my values.
And to be honest, yesterday I really enjoyed the time with family, even sitting with women in the kitchen, while they were cleaning the guts, and preparing the meat barbecues, mincing the meat, cooking brains, etc. The atmosphere was so warm, and everyone was respecting my choice, and not trying to "convert" me ;) We had nice time, and I liked a lot the feeling of being there, all together, around the table. It was so natural and relaxed environment, everybody just chatting, without a pressure to say something clever, or important. The conversations were pleasurable, not a source of frustration or disagreement, how it happens from time to time in Poland. And even people were not agreeing sometimes, they were discussing emotionally, with loud voices, in the end it was all good, and cool. The general attitude of these people is also pictured by the way they eat - all together from one bowl, making lot of mess on the table, passing some tasty chunks of the meat to each other. It feels so good, and easy going. No one has a "stick in his ass", how we say in polish. It's about enjoying the time together, without thinking how well mannered we should be, bright, intelligent, or successful.
I think it's really starting to influence me in a positive way, I'm becoming so much more relaxed and spontaneous, then how I used to be. I don't have any negative thoughts, not trying to restrict myself, or to "be right and accurate". I've learned a lot about my feelings, and I became connected to them much more. Souhail is still telling me sometimes that "I think too much", but my opinion is that I've changed a lot on this field, and now I'm thinking just enough to balance it with feelings, and other states of mind :P
So... Eid Ad7a Mobarak Said to all my Moroccan friends, and Wesolych Swiat to my dear friends in Poland, and other best wishes to all other people around the world who may be reading this text :)))
Guts of the sheep served for the dinner, first day.
Sheep's head on cuscus, second day lunch.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Culture shock
I think I'm going through something significant, and I feel like sharing this experience. I'm starting to understand more, what is a culture shock. Even though I’ve heard about it so many times, and I thought I know what is it, I was wrong, or maybe rather – my understanding of this experience was too flat, because I’ve never went through it myself.
AIESEC traineeships are minimum 2 months. I’ve heard that it is a necessary duration to let the person experience “a culture shock”, because it doesn’t happen immediately, it needs time, etc. And I was accepting this idea, and waiting for it. But I didn’t know exactly how it is supposed to be. Now I’m starting to realize, that it’s what I’m going through after almost 2 months in
When you think “culture” most probably you imagine people having different habits, clothes, cuisine, religion, etc. So when arriving in a different country you expect to see all of this. It’s what we call in a common language “cultural differences”. Everyday you meet people looking different, speaking other language, doing things in their own way. But it’s not really shocking immediately. I was rather appreciating all these differences, trying to get to know everything better, observe, be a part of it and “understand”. Seeing a man praying on the street on his little carpet, or eating cuscus with hands from a common plate with other people was exciting for me and I was open to everything that people do here, trying to adapt to their customs.
But these things are just a surface and they are not really shocking as I said. You may appreciate them, be curious, accept, and it feels really good. The difficult part starts after a longer period of time, on a deeper level. Because it’s not that easy to understand sometimes, it’s not so easy to adapt. Going from the phase of being amazed by all “oriental”, unknown things, discovering another country and it’s culture to actually living in it, cooperating with people, and working – this is where the real challenge begins.
The feeling I had recently is really difficult to describe. I rather give an example of a situation to picture it better. I just came back from 3 days conference, where I was working as a member of organizing committee. So we had to prepare all the logistics, delegate’s servicing, entertainment, etc. I was working in one team with Moroccan people only. We faced many crisis situations, the circumstances were changing rapidly, so we had to act immediately, overcome various problems, and think about solutions… When being in such a situation, people don’t pay attention to someone who is not from their country. And what I’m trying to say is absolutely not that anyone treated me badly, or anything like this. Everybody has been veeery nice to me here, it hasn’t changed since I arrived! :o) The problem starts when people go emotional, and they can’t handle the situation themselves. When they have problems, they don’t think, that if they are lost and don’t know what to do – what about the person, who doesn’t even speak the language?! Because obviously it’s not easy to act under such a pressure and to think about communicating in English, when there’s so little time. So being a foreigner in such an environment is really challenging. This feeling of being lost and confused is overwhelming. It is like being in the eye of a cyclone, but at the same time feeling completely disconnected, not able to make any difference, or change your situation.
I took an example of a conference, because thanks to this experience it became much clearer for me, what is the nature of a culture shock. It was an intense feeling, all condensed in 3 days – and because of this, so much easier to capture and to name. Before I had this feeling of being confused and lost, but due to the fact that some things were happening to me just occasionally, I didn’t pay enough attention to them. I felt kind of tired recently, because I realized that there’s sort of a barrier between me and other people. And as I said, even everybody was treating me extremely kindly and friendly, there was still something making me feel uneasy. But I couldn’t understand what’s wrong and why I feel this way.
This time I think I captured it well. People react so differently here, organize their work in a completely different way. It made me stressed, because I never knew what to expect, how to react. It takes a lot of effort to cooperate in these conditions. It’s difficult to find your place and to know what to do. And on top of it, during the conference I felt being cut from all the information necessary to take the right decision – and it was really frustrating. It’s a little bit like being lonely, or in the dark. You just don’t know! All your confidence or enthusiasm may disappear, even you are trying your best, and having “a positive attitude”.
OK, one particular situation from the conference now :o) I was responsible for organizing some competitions for the party. And everything was well prepared, and ready for the evening, so I felt really optimistic and happy. Problems begun as soon as we started running these games. When people compete, they are really excited; they go emotional, shout, etc. And of course they don’t speak English anymore. It’s not natural for them, and it’s so much easier to express themselves in their mother tongue. So first of all, I was supposed to run these competitions, but it was not really possible, because of this language barrier. If there was any issue that they wanted to solve immediately, they were simply ignoring me, and communicating with other Moroccans in French or Arabic. It feels so odd to stand in the middle of a room full of people, being supposed to lead something, but at the same time having no real possibility to make an impact on the situation... Another thing is that here people very quickly go emotional, start to shout, and the level of noise and excitement is soooo much higher than in
It was just one of the examples... But this is why I wrote that I was trying to “understand”. It’s not possible this way; how I though about it was wrong. You have to live it, go through it. And I don’t know how to adapt yet, because for the moment I just realized, where the problem lies, but haven’t figured out the solution yet. The only thing I know is that I don’t want to give up, and I will do my best to handle all these difficulties and my feelings. They make me stronger, and more aware of my boundaries. Inshallah I will find my way through it ;o)
Friday, November 16, 2007
First marriage proposal
When preparing to go to Morocco, I've heard and read many stories about men trying to buy European women for camels, or at least proposing them marriage. I was taking it half seriously, more as a joke. But since I arrived, these stories were confirmed by other trainees staying here, girls were telling me about their experiences with Moroccans and how annoying it is sometimes.I was still not completely believing, I thought they are exaggerating. OK, I got few phone numbers from strangers, unknown people were talking to me at the street, many times passing by some guys I could hear: "you are beautiful" in English, French, even Italian. But no marriage proposals!!! I even started feeling a little bit jealous :P
And last week, finally, I had my "first time" ;o) I was with Kouta on a trip to Bouznika, and we went into the pottery shop. The owner of this stall had 2 camels, the main source of money for him during touristic period - you know, pictures with a camels, on camels, rides, etc. So as a typical tourist, I went crazy, cuz I've never seen camels from such a small distance, and as household animals. Started taking pictures of them - it was a clear message for the guy that he had something what definitely attracts me :oP He invited us for a mint tea (traditional Moroccan speciality, very strong and sweet at the same time), and while I was innocently taking pictures of everything inside his shop (sooooo beautiful and colorful pottery, I couldn't resist! You can see it on my pictures), he started negotiating with Kouta... 
He was asking her to propose me, that if I stay with him, the camels will be mine, and I will be staying with him in the shop aaaaall the time, because obviously I like it so much! How nice of him...! The fact that I don't speak a word in Arabic, and he doesn't know any English was definitely not an issue! :o)
I even started considering his offer, but unfortunately Kouta didn't share my enthusiasm, and the final deal was that we will come back in two weeks, and then continue negotiations (and ride his camels obviously!). I'm looking forward to it! :oPOn the picture this is me with my potential future husband and one of his dear camels... Isn't he cute?! The camel, of course! ;o)
Thursday, November 15, 2007
My favorite topic - living rooms!
Something that was fascinating me from the moment I arrived in But the real difference is not even in the furniture, but in the fact that it is made for people to enjoy their time there. It’s highly pragmatic in this sense, but the value behind what I call “pragmatic” is to enjoy and make the most of your time there. You can really feel it when sitting in this room – you are starting to feel relaxed and comfortable, the tension of the day goes down, you feel at home. After having some food it’s normal to have a nap on one of those couches. You can easily fall asleep and no one is surprised, even if you are not at your home. Once Souhail’s brother came for lunch to our flat and afterwards he just lied down and slept for 20 minutes, the same when we had lunch with Kouta – let’s have some rest before we start working…
Comparing it to European concept of meeting with people and having food together – it’s unbelievable how far we are from fulfilling our real needs, how stressed we are and how much we are forgetting about what really gives pleasure and comforts people. We are trying to “behave well”, have an intellectual conversation at the table, impress other people how much we know about the world, what’s happening in politics, or what are we currently working on. There’s no space for just enjoying our time together without being well mannered, thinking about what others will think if I do this or that. Ok, I’m not saying that in
Haha, finally starting a blog!
I think this is the moment to share my Moroccan experience. I feel that I reached this level, when my observations are something deeper than just seeing different clothing or other kinds of food. These things are obviously interesting and this is the first impression that I got when starting to live in a different country. But focusing only on this part of culture is not really touching its core, it didn’t make sense for me to describe this level without having a deeper understanding, being able to reach the value behind it.
But anyways, there will be also a lot of just random things, moments that I enjoyed, some funny and crazy stuff that we're doing here :o)
First of all, some pictures of my closest people here, we are working in AIESEC and having lots of fun together!
This is me with the most amazing MOSAIC Team, Executive Board of AIESEC Les Ambassadeurs: Souhail, Zainab, Sarah, Souky, me and Kouta during our SLF local seminar.
And these are our two faces - of devils and angels... Guess which one is the real one! ;o)
But anyways, there will be also a lot of just random things, moments that I enjoyed, some funny and crazy stuff that we're doing here :o)
First of all, some pictures of my closest people here, we are working in AIESEC and having lots of fun together!
This is me with the most amazing MOSAIC Team, Executive Board of AIESEC Les Ambassadeurs: Souhail, Zainab, Sarah, Souky, me and Kouta during our SLF local seminar.
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